finances · IVF with donor eggs · legal · small victories

Small Victories

Well here is an update on our legal fees situation!

I received another email about an hour later from Katie (bless her!) that said our lawyer (bless her, too) had spoken with the other lawyer and explained our unique situation, and the other lawyer (bless him, three!) agreed to drop the charge from $500 to $350. So we still lost a good bit of money, and we are still paying a lawyer $350 to spend 30 minutes on the phone with our donor, but it feels good to know that people are working with us. It feels good to win a battle, even if it’s just kind of winning it. It feels good to save $150, even thought it’s such a little amount compared to what we are paying for so many other things.

But hey, I will smile for now. Even the little victories are worth smiling about.

choosing a donor · consultations · donor egg · finances · ivf · sdfc

AND…We’re Back!

Hello all! I know, I know… it’s been way too long since I last posted anything on here, but honestly there just hasn’t been anything to post. I actually spent several months not really thinking about it much, and had a few moments of “well, life is pretty good. Are we sure we want to have another baby?”

And then, like a ton of bricks, the baby fever hit — big time! I don’t know if it was the fact that one of my best friends is pregnant, and watching her glow with her big (but not really big at all) belly just got me sentimental and wanting to be there, too. Or maybe it was that my coworker just had her baby and I got to cuddle with that tiny little girl and smell her sweet smells. Who knows?! But now I am just so desperate to be pregnant again, and to buy the sweet clothes, and change the diapers, and feedings – I am longing for it…yes, even the stuff that takes over your life, and your house, and your sanity! I want the chaos, and that was the part that was scaring me and holding me back from pushing it too much. Crazy how things change!

So, I contacted San Diego again and told them we were ready. We do not have the funds together, but I’ve decided we just won’t. We will have to take out loans, but we can probably save up about half of what we need by the time we have to give them money. But I am getting older, as is Anadine, and I’m just ready. If we wait until the money is completely there, we will never be able to do it.

So last week, we had a financial consultation to find out what our options are as far as financing. The lady we spoke with was very nice and informative. She assured me that SDFC will not nickel and dime us- I guess time will tell. (CCRM was real good about having hidden costs). So we discussed a few options, and depending on which donor we choose, we will figure out which route we will take. There’s one option that pays for one egg retrieval and then as many transfers as it takes to get pregnant from that batch of embryos. I think that option costs around $24,000, not including donor compensation and medications for the donor. Another option is a money back guarantee option: if a pregnancy isn’t established after 3 transfers, you get your money back. That option costs somewhere around $31,000, not including donor compensation and meds. If the donor we choose is a proven donor (meaning she’s done this before and had success), we probably could do option 1. If we choose a new donor, we might want to choose option 2, because you just never know. Either way, it ends up probably being about the same cost because a proven donor is going to cost close to $10,000 in compensation, whereas a new donor will cost $5,000 (makes you want to get in the egg donation business, doesn’t it?) Anyway, it’s a lot of numbers, a lot of money, and it kinda makes my head hurt. Basically the information we really needed is that the money is due at the start of the cycle – all of the money upfront – there is no financing plan. However, there are loan companies that work directly with SDFC. I knew that before, but needed the refresher. So now we look into that and see what we can get approved for, look at interest rates, etc.

Yesterday, we had a phone consult with our Doctor – Dr. Kettel. We are officially established patients at SDFC! The phone call went about as expected – no new information really, but it basically got us established. Ryan and I started looking at the donor database last night and picked out a few favorites. The next step is to get in contact with the donor coordinator (who we talked to last spring) and get matched with a donor. We’ll give her our favorites and she will help us make a decision that works for us.

Once that is done, we will start scheduling things. Right now our plan is to do a freeze all of the embryos and then do a transfer sometime in early June, when I am out of school. Although it would be nice to schedule it during my spring break, just to get things going a little sooner. Doing a freeze all would mean I don’t have to worry about syncing my cycle with the donor’s. It also means we can do PGS testing on the embryos, which increases the chance of success by being able to choose an embryo that has all of the right chromosomes. And yes, it also gives us an idea of which gender we are transferring in.¬†

Anyway, stay tuned. I’m hopeful that this blog is going to be getting more interesting in the coming months. Now, off to find a donor!