birth control · FET · ivf · IVF with donor eggs · sdfc

You really have to be your own advocate

I continue to find that I have to keep up with my own sh** when dealing with SDFC. I really don’t know how anyone goes through their first cycle of anything and gets it right the first time when using them. I am constantly emailing my nurse to ask if I need to be doing anything and her response is kind of like “well, yeah actually you are.” I get that they have a million patients and can’t keep up with everyone’s story, but when dealing with someone like me, who is emailing every other day to give updates, ask questions, etc., you would think they would be able to keep up better.

So here’s the newest story.

I was in the shower this morning thinking about how I really hope we hear back from the lawyer soon so we can officially get the calendar, and then I started thinking about the potential calendar that nurse Hilary sent me and how it said “March 20, take last birth control” and I thought “hmm, I wonder when I’m supposed to START taking birth control? I mean, usually you have to start at a certain point in your cycle, and if I need to be be on it for a certain number of days, I probably should have started it with my last cycle.” And then I thought, surely they are staying on top of that. Surely they would have told me to start BC if I was in fact supposed to start it.

But then I kept thinking about it. I went back and read through all my emails to make sure I hadn’t missed something. I found the first email that Nurse Hilary sent me with the checklist of things to do. I saw where it talked about how I need to take BC for my sonohysterogram, but then could stop taking it until I started my FET cycle. So I thought – okay I didn’t miss anything. ¬†Everything is probably okay. But then, I figured I should go ahead and email Hilary and see what’s up…just in case. Just to clear my head about it. And y’all – I felt so guilty about it. I thought “I am probably driving her crazy with all my emails. She is probably sitting there thinking that I don’t think she knows how to do her job!”

Low and behold her response was “yes, you need to start it day 2 of your cycle and you have to be on it for 10 days before starting medications.” Well, I’ll be damned — the potential calendar says I start medications on March 20. Which means I need to be on BCP by March 10 — THIS FRIDAY! Which means I need to start my period by Wednesday–THIS WEDNESDAY! It is possible that my period will come by Wednesday. That will be my Cycle Day 20 and my cycles have been known to be that short. I’m also not counting on that happening, because you just never know. So now I’m pissed. Now this could potentially mean a May transfer after all…or having transfer day a few days later than I wanted in April, which will mean me missing work because it won’t be over my school break any more. All of this could have been solved when I emailed her weeks ago letting her know that I wanted an earlier transfer date. Then she should have told me I needed to start BCP at my next cycle to be sure I was on them long enough before I would start medication.

So now I pray that my period starts in the next two days. What a freakin’ weird thing to pray for, but so be it. And I will never feel weird or guilty about bugging my nurse. Apparently it has to be done to make sure things are moving along.

PS. I also emailed the lawyer to check on things there. For all I know, they’ve gotten the paperwork from my donor’s lawyer and it’s just sitting on someone’s desk with no sense of urgency.

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