I am 13 weeks pregnant! It feels so good to be at the end of the first trimester: emotionally and physically. While I am still feeling nauseous at times, and I haven’t gotten all of my energy back, I am starting to feel things getting better. I think part of my exhaustion is non-pregnancy related, and more of a time change thing. I never have an easy time adjusting to the time changing, and so I’m choosing to believe that that’s the cause of my tiredness.
So we started telling people on Halloween (I was about 11.5 weeks at that point). We told our daughter the night before Halloween by giving her a present. It was a big gift bag, and as she went through it she found things like a package of pacifiers and baby clothes. She thought it was so funny – she was just giggling the whole time. And then in the very bottom of the bag, she found a pair of scrubs (her size) that say “big sister” on them. She read the words, and gave me this look like “huh?” and when I told her I had a baby in my tummy, she was so excited. Now it’s all she talks about. She is just the sweetest thing about it. Yesterday she said that she was going to ask Santa to bring some things for the baby. I’d say she’s pretty excited!
I told my class on Halloween and they were also super excited. The lesson that I planned worked perfectly. A lot of the kids thought that I was just kidding at first, and then were shocked when I told them it was true. Thanks to them and Anadine, I haven’t had to tell the news to anyone – they have all taken care of it for me. I love it!
I’m starting to get a little bit of a bump, but still just look like I’ve just gained a lot of weight. People who know I’m pregnant comment on how I’m starting to show, but I know complete strangers, or people who don’t know I’m pregnant, are just looking at me like “poor thing – so fat!” ha! Yesterday, I started feeling the little bubbly flutters, which is crazy! It’s pretty much constant when I am sitting still. So constant, in fact, that I’m not completely confident that it is the baby. But I can’t figure out what else it could be, so I’m just choosing to believe it is the baby.
We go next week for our gender scan. Anadine will go with us, and she cannot wait! Even though we know what we’re having from the PGS testing, we aren’t telling anyone what it is until we get the official scan.
So, does this pregnancy feel different than my first? Yes – in so many ways. But none of those ways has anything to do with this being a donor egg baby. It honestly hasn’t crossed my mind. I already love this baby so much, and even feel more bonded than I did with my first pregnancy. I think with my first, I couldn’t believe it was real. I had been through so much heartache, that I couldn’t let myself relax. Plus, there was that worry about actually birthing the baby and being a mom. Now I know what to expect with all of that, and I’m just enjoying every minute of what is likely to be my last pregnancy. (Although, those words are easier to say now that I’m feeling better!) I’m still a nervous wreck a lot of the time, and panic with thoughts of something being wrong, but deep down I know it is all okay and meant to be. I am so in love!