IVF with donor eggs

I am so tired of thinking about this!

No, we still haven’t picked a donor. We have gone around in so many circles I don’t even know where to begin.

We did receive more pictures of the girl that Ryan likes. She’s out. She’s cute, I guess, but the other pictures convinced him that she looks nothing like us or what we are looking for.

One of the girls that we liked (the one that cost $1,000 extra in compensation) got chosen by someone else. So she’s out.

Jenna replied back about to my email about why the other one is $4,000 extra and she said that while they try to encourage the donors to move up gradually, they aren’t required to. She said she thought it was odd, but there wasn’t much she could do about it.

Meanwhile, another donor popped up last Thursday that is ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS! Y’all, she is perfect. EXCEPT she has brown eyes. Now, to some people that isn’t a big deal. But Ryan and I both have blue eyes. Anadine has blue eyes, and while there’s a chance that we could still get a blue eyed baby from Ryan and a brown eyed donor, the chances are slim. Her profile doesn’t have any information on her grandparents’ eye colors, so we have Sam looking into that and hopefully we’ll get that information soon. She is so perfect, it’s just a hard pill to swallow that she may not be the one – but she may just not be the one. We thought we had lost her because I saw her on Thursday, mentioned to Sam that I liked her, and then she disappeared. On Friday we got an email that Jenna pulled her off the database for us, and we told her we would think about it over the weekend and give her an answer on Monday. There’s another couple interested in her – not surprising that she would be picked fast.

So all weekend, we were going back and forth between her and the blue eyed, $4,000 extra girl. We couldn’t figure out if we were willing to pay an extra $4,000 just for the blue eyes. She was definitely the best blue eyed girl on the database, and I like that she’s a proven donor, but $4,000 is a lot of money.

So Monday  morning we woke up still unsure what to do. Ryan said he was going to email Jenna and ask her to call him so he could ask some questions about genetics, paying for known donors and if it’s worth it, etc. About midday on Monday we received an email from Jenna telling us that she was going to call Ryan shortly, but she wanted us to be aware of an email they just received – from our original donor!  It said that her husband had done some more research and was comfortable with the idea of her donating her eggs now. She said he got a little freaked out with the rush of the legals, but he’s looked into it further and realizes the risks aren’t as high as it seemed in the legal documents. She said she understands that we may consider them too much of a flight risk, but she knows they are ready and would like to proceed if we still want her. Oh. My. 

So now we REALLY don’t know what to do. We have decided that we’re not going to pay the $4,000 extra dollars for the known donor with blue eyes. We’re also still waiting to hear back about the brown eyed girl and her grandparents. We are checking the database constantly for anyone else who might pop up. And we are just getting tired of it all. Another blue eyed girl popped up for a split second before Ryan talked to Jenna on Monday. He mentioned her in their conversation and then she disappeared. We thought for most of yesterday that maybe Jenna had pulled her off for us, but we found out that she just got picked very quickly by another couple. That’s how this works- the really good ones go fast. It’s exhausting!

Oh yeah – we also got the news that they aren’t scheduling any cycles until June or July because the embryologists are so booked this spring. Well that sucks! But I’ve come to terms with it. But now I’m afraid that if we don’t make a decision soon, then the summer will get booked up, too and we won’t be doing anything until August or September. I’m just so tired of the waiting!

My gut is telling me right now to stick with our original donor. I do really like her. Although I feel a bit like that girl who gets back together with her ex-boyfriend who cheated on her. But we’ll see. We’ll see – hopefully soon! This is just so damn hard.

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