I hate that I’m always talking about money on here, but that’s the part of this whole journey that continues to be the biggest source of stress for me. So basically we got approved for a loan of $25,000. That leaves us with $12,000 that we have to come up with out of pocket. Keep in mind, all of this has to be paid upfront before our donor can start any of her treatment. We have come up with about $5,000 so now we’re scrounging for $7,000 more. Ryan went to the bank yesterday to see if we can take out a small loan, so we’re waiting to hear back about that.
I have spent the entire weekend crying over this. I HATE that we have to deal with this to have a baby. We had this big talk about how we are not only going to be bringing another child into the world and the added expenses of that, but we’re also going to be desperately trying to pay off these loans. Y’all, I had a complete break down. At one point I said “maybe we just shouldn’t do this. Maybe I should just suck it up and be happy with our one beautiful child.” But the thing is, I’ve gotten my hopes up. I’ve started swooning at the thought of being pregnant, having a newborn, going through all of those funny phases of walking and talking and learning. I just don’t understand why life is so unfair sometimes. Why is it so difficult for us and so easy for others?